The · Insignificant · One

what a good way to start LJing again.

just got back from Port Dickson, and yeah, why is it unforggetable coz its a mistake, it sucked, doing nothing but eating and sleeping, going to the beach at night and sing along to love songs ( i dont sing, they did ) and now they are going to gentings on the 1st of may. I aint going.. and i find that hanging out with my cosplay buddies is like X 10294020270570358024.01  better =)

i am sure, most of you know this saying, an empty vessle makes the most noise, which decribes my older brother very much, i am not bad mouthing him but its just the way he is.  The whole today, i kept my patience level as high as i could, and i manage to do so. He changed his rims of "his" Myvi, and apparently called me for a stupid reason, if i want to take the old rims back.

So i told him, that i will think about it and have a second opinion, from my dad, so, he said, let him do what ever he wants to do (which i will explain later) then i called my brother that i am refusing the offer and told him to trade in with his "new" set of rims, propably he is too deaf to hear my last say, so he brought back the wheels without its tyres, what a dumb ass, how can i use them if they have no tyres fitted and since i have changed to a decent set of tyres and i dont see a point in changing my rims.

i got back home earlier and just to find out these rims is stacked up in the middle of my room and with my helmet on top of it, its a sign of disrespect, i shifted the wheels outside, where there is some proper space to put it, he heard the clutters and started his bitching, that dad is going to find out about it. I feel like throtling the life out of him, but its no use because he's just plain stupid.

First of all dumbass, you have changed the rims on the car and its obviously dad will know (he is not stupid, duh) . Secondly, dad doesnt give a flying rat asses about you anymore. Thirdly, i am your younger brother and you better treat him with respect like other members of the family, as i have for all of my life with your nonsense and stupidity and fourthly, you are still immature. grow up...

at his age, when something bad happens, he'll just have to swollow his pride, hard

now i cant sleep again due to another self eye opener, well basically this wont be emo post or what so ever.

now i have decided on making my own website, yes my very own, its basically a practice of my HTML and Flash knowledge and use them as far as i can go. its gonna be more or less of a portfolio website, a place where i can stash my artworks and propably my cosplay photos. i just got back from jogging, and i was thinking of a few names for the site, the name i have thought of so far is..

Makan Kertas
Di Makan Kertas
Pemotong Kertas
PaperFed
The Yellow Box

any suggestions will be highly apreciated. =D

*opens flash and starts building*

today, i have not been shutting my eyes for hours besides blinking, today Keiichi has left to the city of the New York yankess, bright sign boards and yellow cabs, and yes its New York. dusty could not make it due to his mom's orders and i went there alone. on the way,  theres was an accident (which i did not notice till i was on the way home) which pretty much been covered by a tanker, so the crash scene is not visible.

Drivers are being irritating today, due to something that they overlook.

 now i shall nap. XD

*takes a deep breath and exhales slowly*

 i have been reflecting on what people have been trying to tell me for the past years and months, which is something to tell me to keep calmed and relaxed, just as simple as that and yet i cant seem to desipher what have they been telling me, from notes to comments to advices.

they were right. very right.

been thinking too much, mind gets messed up, loose patients fast, get angry fast and mental strain for weeks to months.

i was watching AXN, WRC was on and its on German WRC championships, one of the reporters asked a former raly driver Armin Schwarz, and he was giving a comment on the current world rally champion, Sebastian Loeb, i did not quite noticed it what he actually said, what makes Sebastian Loeb the world champion, besides the backing and good relations to the team, but what make all these happen is his cool and calm personality and does not put too much pressure on himself.

i knew that these things makes a champion, someone who has patients not to give up things very much, which is obvious. from all the advice and comments from people i meet and knew, these are signs.

Come to think of it aswell, i'm not the king of the universe, i always think i'm right, but i am just down right wrong, also concidering i am not the sharpest knife in the drawer. I am pretty much like everyone else and definately i am way over my head at the moment, i should listen to others, think before what i say, guess i should just put my feet back on the ground.

I have worked my self too much in my college life, its actually fun to think about it, its not like i have to make tough decisions and to simply do stuff for the sake of my lecturers.

Its for my own sake, its for my self and my future

Tolerate others, listen to them, care for them.

The stongest sign is that people (which i have been told) are afraid of me when ever they see me or talk to me and they dont want to get closer to me or to know me better. which is an obvious sign. i guess its from my past bad experiences from people.i have been too serious over simple ridiculous matters.

also explains my inconsistency to do things, lack of patients and getting my underwear in a twist. pushing my pointless points thru possible solutions.

its true what they say, indeed, very true. thank you.

i just gone back from a gym and most of the time people come home everyday from the gym feeling good and getting fitter everyday, as for me ITS APPAULING!, here's my reasons why, first of all, you are stuck in a bulding, trveling without moving, and air conditioner blowing into your faces, if i work out outside, i have 20 billion miles of head space, the sun, the clouds the birds and the bees, diffrent oxygen density and i have full control of my self when ever i jog what ever. where is that sense of danger when you work out indoors that pushes you further?!

what actually spatrked my anger is a sales person which i will not metion his/her name, the person greeted me and seated me at some table and chairs, i was cool then, so i answered some questiones, and fill up some forms. the person asked me what i need to concerntrate when i am working out, so i said.

" stamina and loose weight"

so the person asked

"okay, whats the reason?"

i said, that i need to loose weight and gain my stamina for go-karting. OOoo the person said, intresting, then  the person asked  if  i come for future sessions when my class starts, so i was being honest and civil and the person asked me this " how can you keep loose weight and stamina for your go kart when you cannot make it" i started feeling uncomfortable, trying my best to answer that question, i felt very cornered, helpless, the person asked again, i'm starting to boil....primal instincts kicking in, then i tried to keep my self together and i said, when my semester starts, i dont think i have the time to focus on this particular thing, because i have plenty of work and i dont think i can cope, the person asked me the most stuidest question " how are you going to loose weight and stamina?" stupid questions get stupid answers, I STARVE LA

and the person asked the same stupid question for 3 FUCKING times....FUCK MAN, HEY BITCH ARE YOU DUMB AS A FUCKING BRICK?! TAK RETI BAHASA KE BALIK RUMAH MASAK TAHI TENUK!!, then this stupid gaijin immigrant stare cock GO BACK TO YOUR FUCKING ASSHOLE COUNTRY BITCH

I AM SO PISSSED

then the person brought us around the place and show some nonsense AND IT DOES NOT CHANGE THE FUCKIGN WORLD A LITTLE MORE


FUCKING HELL MA PUKI CHIBAI KANNN NI NEH SOONIE YODA EWOK NIAMA CHOW HAI CHINKO INTO MANKO KUNJILEK PUNDEK ASSHOLE MOTHERFUKCER

I HAVE TO DRIVE TO SUNWAY EVERYDAY WITH THE FUCKING JAM FOR FUCKING 30 MINS AND DRIVE HOME AND DO YOU THINK I HAVE THE FUCKING TIME TO LOOSE WEIGHT AND GAIN STAMINA EVERY FUCKING DAY?!

TO FUCKING UNSERSTAND YOU BITCH IS THAT YOU HAVE TO UNDERSTAND ME, I FELT CORNERED AND UNCOMFORTABLE AND INSECURE WITH YOUR GODAMN QUESTIONS, HAVE A GOOD FUCKING DAY

i was jogging back home after that, god that felf so much better =D

presentation went well today, and thats the end of my project, and still...there is not time for fun and games yet, theres metal to burn tyres to screech, THE NEXT MONSTER GARAGE CHALLENGE.....IS......JUST....AROUND....THE.....BEND!!

......

damn i miss monster garage XD

I kinda relate monster garage with some of my hobbies, coz i love to build stuff with my hands. fun aswell..

earlier i was talking with a hindu priest friend of mine, we were chatting chillin and shit, then he came up with this, he asked me what number i am (based on the day i was born) so i told him its 7, i asked why

HOLY SHIT

he read me like a catalogue,from what music i listen to the kind enviroment i love the most to what my character really is...everythings spot on...freaks the shit out of me, he told me that i also should  take care things which i love to do.....very true indeed and this comes to cosplaying.

i dont think of it too seriously, coz i see it as a guide. Cosplaying wise, what he told me earlier opened my eyes, i should reduce the amount of costumes that i am doing this year, its true, my budget exceeded what i planned earlier this year, if i make the 2k-tan costume, that counts as 6 costumes this year alone!

so. i guess i pretty much made my decision to cut 2k-tan off...this year...and to add the fact that i still need to collect my other 2 costumes @_@.... guess i should concerntrate on other things matter most to me, i just havethe urge to modding my car up....get some rims and tyres and stuff.

so i guess, enough is enough..cant have everything in the world.

as for the modding, i need bigger rims and tyres, a steering bosskit (detachable steering wheel XD) and a whole new custom made exaust system..which i guess will not happen anytime soon, so far i have done on the audio system, you dont need such big assed sets for a small car... its pointless.

i'll just see what comes and i'll see what i can do...as for 2k-tan, seeya next year.

for the past 3 week...i have been pulling elephants out of my ass....finaly ITS DONE!!!!!

my final project is done in time and following by schedule, isnt it usefull to bring a notepad around XD...everything has been following to plan....but not for my cosplay XD now its just adding those small bits and alittle bit more tweaking here and there..... not so much of a problem...now i can just do my figures with no worries and stuff.

but i am just glad that its done in time. =D

i got my second wisdom tooth removed today, and as usual it did not stop bleeding for 2 hours, the dentist gave me the same crappy gauss like the last time i was given...i thought waking up on a bloddy bed again...and the worst part is, mom is buying KFC for dinner. KFC!!! my love for chicken knows no boundaries!

mom got home, place the box of 10 pieces on the dining table and did the slow motion shit, took my gauss out from the wound, threw it into the dustbin, grab a plate, took 2 pieces, sat infront of the TV and sink my teeth onto the meat, i could not care anymore about the wound and eat will all my hearts content!

when i am done, it stopped bleeding O_O, no food stuck in the wound, its just stop! the miracles of eating chicken <3

but apparently, me and what ever stuff that covers my wounds wont go along together very well.. i belive the fact of my body is capable of healing it self without any form of support......maybe something more serious will require me to use those stuff XD